Who doesn’t love a good Top 5 list? Today I will unveil a new recurring theme on our beloved website: Random and completely subjective Top 5 lists of which no one is consulted but me. That name seems a little long, so we’ll just call the posts ‘Frankie’s Top 5 (insert subject here)’. These posts will not be up for debate, because (as I learned from my older brother) I am right…all the time. So without further ado:
Frankie’s Top 5 Times to Drink a Beer
5) Immediately after mowing your lawn. This one should need no explanation. It’s a scorching hot day and you’ve been slaving under the sun for countless hours. While the solitude is nice (even your wife’s shrill voice can’t compete with a sweet sounds of a John Deere), the work is grueling and completion most certainly warrants the adult beverage of your choice. While Frankie’s was at the forefront of the craft beer movement in Shenzhen, this is no time for a triple hopped IPA. No friends, crack open a can of Bud or Coors Light, sit down on your porch swing, and revel at the landscaping work of art you’ve just poured your heart and soul in to. You’ve earned it.
4) Post work, pre-family time. Like sand in an hourglass, most of us hardworking individuals spend the days of our lives submitting to the repetitive grind of the 9 to 5 work day. While we (hopefully) adore each moment we spend with our families sometimes we just need a little time to ourselves. This time tends to be between the hours of 5 and 7PM. Heck, it’s become such a ritual that there’s a name for it, and there’s a very good reason it’s not called “Sad Hour”. That reason is BEER!
3) The hair of the dog . While this beer is completely self-serving and in the face of the laws of responsibility, it may be the most necessary of all. What began at the aforementioned Happy Hour turned into an epic all-night rage fest. The night, and the thirst, got away from you. It happens. We certainly aren’t ones to judge. Unfortunately, while the night brought good times and better stories the morning still comes, and with it the promise of a splitting headache and a queasy stomach. It’s the price we pay – such things are required of a champion. While some ibuprofen, Gatorade and a double cheeseburger may be the responsible route to take, no one ever told a story about the good times they had watching Netflix. No friends, it’s that pre-noon leveler that will give way to more memories and epic acts of awesomeness!
2) The celebratory brew. Ahhh, one we can all get behind. Just got a promotion? Maybe you got engaged (or divorced for that matter)? Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays…the list goes on and on. Nothing lifts the spirits like a group of you and your best mates sitting around with a couple pitchers of cold beer, forgetting about all the daily turbulence life can throw your way. In these moments all the negativity in our lives are miles away. Sit back, relax, and enjoy that pint you so richly deserve. You’ve made it through another day, another year on this Earth of ours, why not celebrate?
1) The “China Day” beer. This beer is absolutely location specific. Unless you’ve spent time in this jungle land we call home you can’t possibly comprehend the satisfaction that comes with your first sip of beer after one of those days where China just seems to have it out for you. Maybe the taxi driver drove you in circles to ramp up the meter. Perhaps, between your office and apartment, there are 4 different air conditioners dripping gallons of water by the hour. Maybe the guy smoking a cig on the elevator decided to hock an atom bomb of phlegm right beside your flip-flop. While living in China can be both professionally and culturally rewarding, there are plenty of days that make you question the life decisions that led you here. Trying to grin and bear it is often an exercise in futility. When these days come up (and trust me, they will) there’s only one thing a self-respecting person can do – head to your local pub, grab a cold one, and let each sip of frothy goodness wash the pain and frustration away.